She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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