well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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