I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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