wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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