Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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