He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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