i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize