when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize