Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
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