dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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