Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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