All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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