I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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