how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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