He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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