Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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