U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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