Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm both gender and math confused
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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