enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize