dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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