"it" just moved
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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