I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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