Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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