I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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