its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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