I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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