If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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