The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize