How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
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And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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