Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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