Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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