I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize