What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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