No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize