OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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