Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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