Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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