So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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