ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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