ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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