It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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