He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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