absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize