weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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