he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize