I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize