I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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