remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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