Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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