Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize